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By The Mouse Potato | May 28, 2009
SMART: This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject
in the known Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on
your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always
RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This
makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART.
GOOD LOOKING: This is when you realize that you are the BEST LOOKING
person in the entire bar and that every attractive female fancies you. You
can go up to a perfect stranger KNOWING that they fancy you and really
want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can
talk to this person about any subject under the sun.
RICH: This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the
world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armored
truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this
stage, because of course, you are still SMART, so naturally you win all
your bets. It doesn’t matter how much you bet ‘cos you are RICH. You will
also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, because now you are the BEST
LOOKING person in the world.
BULLET PROOF: You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and
everyone especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This
is because nothing can hurt you. At this point you can also go up to the
partners of the people who you fancy and challenge to a battle of wits or
money. You have no fear of losing this battle because you are SMART, you
are RICH and hell, you’re BETTER LOOKING than they are anyway!
INVISIBLE: This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness. At this point
you can do anything because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You dance on a table to
impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the
cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person who wants to fight
You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because
one can see or hear you and because you’re still SMART you know all the