« Funny Stuff: Liham ni Tatay |
--- Home ---
| Funny: Maasikasong Asawa »
Funny Divorce Letter
By The Mouse Potato | August 24, 2008 
Email This Post
Dear wife:
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever.
I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years and I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been hell; your boss called to tell me that you
quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had
cooked your favourite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of
your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything
that connects us as husband and wife. Either you’re cheating on me or
you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your sister and I are moving away to West
Virginia together! Have a great day.
=======================================================================
Dear Ex-Husband
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It’s true you and I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn’t work.
I did notice your hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’
Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment.
When you cooked my favourite meal, you must have gotten me confused with my sister because I stopped eating
pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on
them, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for $10 million, I quit my
job and bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica but when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer
said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem.
Tags: car, Carla, Divorce Letter, Ether, free, fun, funny, Funny & Hilarious Stuffs, girls, Jamaica, job, life, LOVE, problem, sex, virginRelated posts
Topics: Funny & Hilarious Stuffs |
From The Archives- Boys, Here are some Pickup Lines For the Girls (puro tagalog mostly)
- Renewed Artistic Direction For Diablo 3: Too Cartoonish and Unrealistic
- The Result Of My Personality Type Test
- Comprehensive Firefox Keyboard and Mouse Shortcut Keys That You Should Know
- A Lesson Of Life From George Carlin
- Love Quarrels… Reasons Why Sometimes We Fight The One We Love
- Clown Loach - Chromobotia macracanthus (snail eating fish)
- the new LTO “MODIFICATION” Law: An Open Letter To Senator Chiz Escudero
- Well, I Am Back
- The Search For A Cheap PSP
